Anonymous: Would you wear hijab if it wasn't/if you didn't believe it was fard? And how do you deal on the days when your hair looks super good or when you feel stuck in a hijab rut and miss the versatility hair gives? thx.

I’ve only been wearing the hijab for 2 years now. Prior, I didn’t care if it was obligatory or not. I didn’t wear it because I didn’t understand it. I don’t do anything without knowing why I am doing it. So, I think rather than practicing something just because it is fard, theres no point if you don’t understand why you are doing what you are doing? What purpose does it serve, yeah? 

That’s something I’ve noticed these days, we do things because it is expected, it is what is obligatory, without connecting it back to us or the bigger picture. 

Anyway, I digress. Yes, I would still wear the headscarf if it weren’t obligatory. There are days that I doubt this because I feel myself giving in to really good hair days. But in the grand scheme of things, I know what purpose it serves, especially for me, and I don’t think I’d compromise that.

BUT LET ME TELL YOU THE DAYS MY HAIR LOOKS GOOD IT IS A DAMN STRUGGLE.  One of the reasons I started the hijab was because I realized how much emphasis I put on looks, esp. my hair. I spent more time putting my hair together in the morning than I did making sure I had everything I needed for school that day. How consumed and engulfed I was by my physical appearance. So, when I put on the hijab way back when, I knew that I had sacrificed that so I could focus more so on bettering myself as a Muslim, a student, daughter, friend, etc. Bettering myself as a person, rather than …well, bettering my hair.

So, the days I find myself wanting to just storm out with my nice hair lookin’ all good and flowing in the wind - I remind myself of why I am doing this. What’s the end goal? What does the hijab do for me in the bigger picture? What has it already done for me? Is it worth it? Whats my intention? Who am I doing this for? Why? Why? Why?

Alhamdulillah, I always find MY answer. Not my moms answer. Or my aunties answer two blocks down the street and around the corner. My answer as to what hijab is to me, how it makes me a better individual, and how it helps me better serve Allah.

THEN. I wrap my hijab like a boss. And I wink at myself in the mirror like ‘well damn you still fine as hell, go head girl, go do something fabulous today’ - then I proceed with being a badass.


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