I’m not entirely sure what to tell you in terms of taking it off because I ended up putting it back on. I realized what it meant for me - I know that I felt utterly uncomfortable- more so than I did with it on.
I’ve only been wearing the hijab for 2 years now! And let me tell ya it has not been easy whatsoever. There were days I was so close, SO CLOSE, to taking it off. But my reasons were entirely vain and materialistic. I knew I was stronger than that - I just didn’t want to believe it because it gets hard. To go from seamlessly ‘fitting in’ to sticking out like a sore thumb covered in a paisley scarf.
I understand it can be stressful. But I think you have to remember why you wore it. You said being covered felt more comfortable. Are you willing to compromise that? Being the only hijabi at a predominantly white school can be very intimidating and overwhelming. But just as it has it’s downside - imagine the advantages of how distinct you are. How maybe your perseverance and determination could inspire others to follow?
There came a point I had a on and off period. Then eventually I got fed up with my wish washiness and I took my hijab off for a week…. and I felt naked. I talked out my discomfort with close friends and family - muslim and non muslim - hijabi and non-hijabi, I talked to people that I knew genuinely cared for my well being and personal growth. I didn’t turn to the ones that I knew would only tell me what I wanted to hear.
It gets hard but I had friends who supported me stand by my side - regardless of headscarf or not. You gotta find those that are willing to accept you - that understand you- with or without headscarf. I know what the hijab means to me and I am not the type to sacrifice the value it gives me and the mentality it puts me in - that’s what I realized in taking it off.
You are right. You will get crap. Regardless of what you do you will get crap. Thats life. People judge you regardless of what your choices are. At the end of the day it comes down to what you can handle and how well you handle it. I think you have to mentally prepare yourself. The headscarf doesn’t define you as much as your actions do.
Reflect on how it purely impacts YOU. Cause at the end of the day its what will build or break you. Not anyone else. but YOU. Do whatever you think will genuinely make you stronger.
I have friends (http://letustalkdrivel.tumblr.com/) & (http://holy-crackers.tumblr.com/) who might be able to help you more.
I’m sorry if I could not be of much help - if any one else has further advice feel free to comment.
Whatever you end up doing just do it with the best of intentions. Wish you all the best, iA. If I can help in any other way let me know.